Saturday, September 10, 2011

A Suspicion of Spirituality

        I call it "campus." From my new room where trees and sunlight decorate the outside of my windows, I put my backpack on and venture outside for another beautiful day at Isis Oasis, a very educational setting. I've got my laptop, wallet, phone, water, and a book of my choice. It's not that I have to head over to the pavilion right now, but after a morning of meditation, yoga, and dance on my porch, I'm ready to meet and greet others so that I can help accomplish something. That something is mostly in line with Loreon's ideals, since she is the owner of the property, but I'm much more fond of what she offers to the world than that by mainstream academia or previous employers. Here, I admire the person that I work for, a woman who, at age 79, is still owning and operating a business, is without debt, and has outlived three men. I see that I can learn a lot from her - both her successes and failures.
        I also enjoy the company of all the people that I work with. Most are fairly laid-back, but even those that get huffy make for a good show. Each person has something unique to offer, and it is my pleasure to be able to see and interact with the growth and change of the community because of the intermingling personalities. Everyone here is older than me, most by at least twenty years. I think it's easier to have a more introspective and meaningful existence when I'm not surrounded by my own age-group, which seems (to me) to be full of people looking to prove themselves and seek approval in a shallow manner.

        I did have plans to live with an attractive Argentinian man in his mid-20s by this time. He's actually a big part of the reason I came out to Isis Oasis in the first place. We skyped often, and once he professed his desire for me to be his, I couldn't wait to hop on a plane and enjoy the comforts of a warm man and a cute apartment in Buenos Aires. I'd learn his tongue, although he already knew mine from studying abroad in Australia, and then perhaps, as he helped me establish an online income, we'd be able to travel together. Perfect. I still had to wait, however, for him to work out some financial matters and get the apartment, so I hopped a plane to northern California, where I'd be able to see the Redwoods before I leave the States. I knew some novelty would ease the anticipation, and a two-month workaway at a retreat center would do the trick.
        Well, the two months have come and passed. Within this time, Carlos and I decided not to live together. He would like to focus on himself and his work, and I should do the same before I get trapped into marriage with someone. But also within this time, a programmer from the Netherlands has contacted me, and we have been collaborating on some applications that will revolutionize education, as well as provide the location-independent income that I was seeking.
        So, it seems, things work out. Plans change, but as I go with the flow, rather than focus on expectations not being met, I find myself living a life that I'm not able to imagine before it happens. I have already known relationships with men, and I have already known city life with young people; I was able to daydream Carlos and Buenos Aires to the point where I fell out of love before I even arrived.

        But now, I was left with what felt like a predicament. "Well, what am I going to do with my life, then? I gotta go somewhere...continue on the journey that I have set for myself, yah know, traveling and stuff...that's what I made this blog for, right?"
        What I didn't realize was that establishing oneself in a routine for more than two to three months is okay, and can also be very rewarding! (Go figure, huh?) I'm entirely welcomed at Isis Oasis, and Loreon is very fond of me. Everyone seems to enjoy the energy and effort that I contribute, and I enjoy it as well. It's simple, really - cooking, cleaning, and other miscellaneous things that Loreon needs help with, like buying green folders online for our Heqet-themed Convocation. Oh, and also playing with and training Magic, Loreon's baby ocelot/serval mix. I'm able to understand the complexities of owning a retreat center and animal sanctuary, and I can empathize with and calm Loreon when she is stressed out from it all, yet not get too emotionally involved since it is not my business. For a little extra cash, though, I've also been selling books online that the neighbor, Dan, finds at Salvation Army for a buck or so.
        There were a couple things, though, that bothered me about Isis Oasis. The noon ritual in the little temple everyday gave me an uninspired dogmatic feel to it all. I also see hypocrisy when there exists the vision of peace, but the consumption of products that cause war (like oil). So, I wonder, what's up with all this talk of "spirituality?" Is it helping or hurting?

        I picked up Melvin Power's A Practical Guide to Self-Hypnosis from one of the book shelves in the lodge. The introductory chapters commented that we actually use self-hypnosis all the time; we use the power of suggestion to convince ourselves of anything, from our public speaking abilities to the existence of God.
        I've always been interested in understanding why people think the way they do. In an English class at Hudson Valley Community College, I had to do a research paper, and I was able to pick any topic I wanted. What did I choose? "Cults."
        From my research I saw that textbooks define the word cult as basically a startup religion, merely another belief system, but of smaller size. Okay, that's great, but why does it start in the first place? I came to understand that our mind is our own little cult, and when multiple minds connect and agree on ideologies, a bigger cult forms.
        I continue to be interested in the powers of the mind, which is why I love to be surrounded by environments like Isis Oasis, where some minds begin to agree on a concept which is very loosely defined in our society - spirit. I then choose to interact with these minds openly, but skeptically. I participate in rituals and ask many questions in order to gain insight as to what exactly one believes and why s/he believes it.
        Some will say that most are fakers, that they just go along with the show because it makes them feel good, but I hold a different stance. When someone tells me that they have used past-life regression to come to the conclusion that she was once a high priestess to the Goddess Isis in ancient Rome, I believe her, but it doesn't mean it is objectively true. It means that her mind has indeed experienced said event. However, perhaps it came about solely through the use of suggestion.
        When we suggest that there is something even called "spirit," then we open up a whole new can of worms. We begin to explore spirit, without really knowing what it means.
        To clarify things in my own mind, I began to separate everything I experience and everything I've heard others experience into three categories - the working cliché of 1) mind, 2) body, and 3) spirit. When it came down to it, I couldn't find anything to put into the spirit category. When someone says that they have a "spiritual" experience, like being visited by a ghost, it sounds to me like that experience would still only be one of body or mind; the visited is experiencing this event physically with the senses of the body and mentally with the awareness of the mind. 
        Next, I chose the operation of intuition - the sense of knowing something without reasoning. For example, when a stranger walks into a room, I may be receiving a certain "vibe" from him. Is this spiritual? Malcolm Gladwell discusses this concept in his book, Blink. Intuition is very real, but it is not so much of a mystery. He states that we use pattern recognition to make decisions in an instant. If you've had a lot of experience with people, you will use the prejudices you've gained in order to draw a conclusion. So again, this is only mind, maybe with a hint of bodily sensation if you react psychosomatically.
        So, where did all this talk about spirit come from? My dictionary tells me that the origin of the word is from the Latin term, "spirare," or "breathe," which then turned into "spiritus" for "breath" or "spirit." Does this mean that when we get rid of body and mind, we are breath? A pretty metaphor, but still not exactly what I'm looking for.

        After crystal bowl meditation one morning, I spoke with Aryshta, Jerome, and Kim about spirit. From their perspectives, when we use deities, we are personifying energies that can aid us, making it easier for us to connect. That led me to question whether these energies are from the mind or would exist even without mind and fall into the mysterious category of spirit.
        Jerome and Kim are clairaudient mediums, and they said that when channeling, they must first quiet their minds, or at least not be distracted by their own little voices. Only then can they hear the other voices that are trying to give them information. This would make it seem that there is indeed something separate from mind, but it still needs the mind to get the message through; the mind must translate the message into a comprehensible language for the receiver.

        Aryshta held a guided meditation a few weeks later. I didn't go. Sometimes it's worrisome to let others direct my mind in a vulnerable meditative state. Instead, I finished watching a movie that kept me up late the night before called Holy Smoke. Kate Winslet plays a young Australian woman who is hijacked by an exit counselor after living in an ashram in India and refusing to return home. I thought about how this relates to my life. It seems that I also left my biological family in search of a new family, where I can be loved. Sometimes I feel loved, but is it love? Can I even define love? I can say that it is appreciation for the work I do. Any relationship seems to come down to appreciation. How much do you appreciate this person in your life? When I was living with my family, I did not appreciate them, and I felt unappreciated because I did not contribute. But here, I use my big heart, and my work benefit others. I worry, though, what happens if I can no longer benefit others? That's when you are banished from society, and the forest eats you alive, right? But even after 79 years, I see, Loreon is benefiting others, so it looks like there's hope for me too.

        Recently, I discovered a practice that uplifts my spirit. Loreon has gifted me wings, and now I use my body, my mind, as well as that something else deep within me. I dance, and it flows out according to the beat, the music, or maybe the silence. The dance comes in all forms. Sometimes, I am sitting, and my body rocks back and forth to give my spine a massage. Or other times, I have my wings on, and I spin around in the sun. Maybe that's the spirit coming through, within those moments where I don't know why my body decides to do what it does, or how my mind comes to think what it thinks. I have an opportunity to explore that part of me, without worrying about paying bills or meeting others' expectations. I have found an oasis, as if by chance, where I can nurture myself before my next venture. I hear the winters here are chilly and rainy, so I do have plans to leave for Israel during that time, but for now, I like giving a part of myself to this property that gives so much back to me.

         And maybe you'll see these wings fly into your part of town! I may have a home and family at Isis Oasis, but I am still doing little trips here and there, where perhaps I will practice my street performing. :) 

        For more information on spirituality and science, I was recommended this great NPR piece


  1. If marriage is a trap why pursue it at all? Why not run as far away from it as you can? Why not fight it with all your might? I don't understand the pedestal on which we put love and relationships. Why love? Why not courage? Why not ingenuity? Why not science? Why not altruism and selflessness exhibited by our species in face of all the evils of our world? I don’t know…

  2. Travel and look inside yourself along the way and you will get the most out of it.

    The thing I don't like about marriage is that we have to first get a license from the state to go in front of God to get married, and we have to sign away our children to the state as well.

    I think marriage is good when you are older and without asking permission from a government agency. If you get married do it illegally. It will be more exciting and more rewarding, and right.


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  3. When i first heard about your speech, i already HATED CAPITALISM and HATED LAW ENFORCEMENT but i wanted to express my HATE for the SYSTEM. I HATED HIGH SCHOOL and HATE EDUCATION in general. Its STUPID. The previous poster is right, marriage, like anything else, is best done ILLEGALLY. Its like SMOKING WEED its NOT going to be as much fun if they make it legal. Drinking is NOT as much fun once your 21. I never like getting caught, but that can be fun sometimes too. Then everybody on the street is watching you getting caught , and you can be proud of that. I know some people will question why im so proud of calling myself a criminal. I DONT THINK ANY GROUP OF PEOPLE HAS A RIGHT TO FORCE OTHERS TO OBEY THEM, AND I DONT THINK THE CAPITALIST PIGS HAVE A RIGHT TO FORCE OTHERS TO WORK AS THEIR SLAVES IN MINDLESSLY BORING JOBS FOR THEIR WHOLE LIFE. THOSE ARE THE TOO THINGS I HATE

  4. @The Marxist Farmer
    Stop spending your life hating things.
    Before you know it you'll be dead, and all you did was hating the things you already hated, instead of doing the thing you love.

  5. I agree with anonymous... I am not a fan of the corporatist state of affairs we find ourselves in, wars for oil, greed, corruption.... There are many things wrong, but there are also many things right. I think it's good to experience as much as possible. I don't hate. I do get angry. Anger is a gift (according to Zack De La Rocha). Anyways, I don't know what I'm going on about... But I like to listen to Erica's song on youtube, if I want to get some positive vibes... I also like to listen to Vince Vaccaro, Stand as one, and End of the Road (

  6. Spirit isn't the remnant to seek by removing mind and body. It's the breath that gives them life. It's what moves through mind and body and makes them alive. It's our physical breath, sure, but it's what's living in us -- it's the subjective, the contingent, the consciousness that goes past what we see and hear. It's our contracting and expanding as we tap into the infinite vastness of the atmosphere that everyone else breathes in. It's the ultimate thing we all share physically and metaphorically.

    On a cold day, we can see it for a moment as it becomes visible, and then it vanishes away. It registers our fragile but beautiful hold on the world around us. It blows where it will, and, if we know what we're doing, we follow its path, however dimly we see it. It's the voice that speaks pure truth to us, quietly enough that we can deny it if we want to, but clear enough that we know it for what it is. And, if we're crazy enough, we follow it around and see what it sees and do what it does. But often we don't.

  7. They're still writing about you!


    Go Erica Go!

    Good luck and Godspeed!

    NetRanger is still thinking of you.

  8. The SHTFPlan people would really love for you to come on over and comment... I think Mac just fostered about one hundred Erica fans.

    Hope things are going well for you and I hope you're having a blast.

  9. I just read and listened to your speech today. I'm glad you were able to see what was going on in school. I'm sure that speech was a difficult pleasure. Public education was a creation of the industrial age. Workers, we need workers!, not thinkers.

    All intelligent thoughts have already been thought; what is necessary is only to try to think them again. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    It's not easy to be original. You are constantly being bombarded with opinions disguised as choices and they often come packaged very attractively. When you do have an idea, how can you be sure it is actually yours and not something your subconscious drudged up from years ago? And, if that is the case, who put it there and why?

    The dumbing down of the populace through dis-education is only the tip of the iceberg. The STATE is built upon the solid rock of keeping people in the dark.

    What do you imagine the carbon footprint of the internet might be? The oil used to mine the metals, make the plastic, and transport the parts for all those computers. Then shipping the end product. All the coal, oil, and natural gas burnt to supply power to the machines — and the servers! I wonder how many gigawatts Google burns in a day? All those smart phones, mostly plastic which is made from oil. Oil is the feedstock for so many things.

    Don't get me wrong, just don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. Wars aren't fought for oil, they are fought for power. Oil is just a building block of power. There is also control of water, food, and organized religion. All the pieces on the chess board. You need them all for power, well, you can spare a pawn for an advantage from time to time. The positions of true power seem to be occupied by sociopaths.

    You are right to create your own spiritual beliefs. Organized religion is just another control system. Find it on your own.

    I was very encouraged to hear someone as young as yourself speaking truth in the face of mediocrity.

    Life is just a series of near misses followed by an eventual collision with the truth. That's mine — I think.

  10. Net Ranger sent me!

    Great blog!

    You have a voice that will be heard by many. Stay the course - you have many insights of value to share!

    I'll definitely be following your path!


  11. Erica,

    I didn't realize when I sent you the email, you just live "down the street" from me. (I live near Eureka.)

    Oddly, it is science I would send you to "see" the spirit. Here is a link to the Global Consciousness Project:

    This is how they describe their experiment:

    "Our purpose is to examine subtle correlations that reflect the presence and activity of consciousness in the world. We predict structure in what should be random data, associated with major global events. The data overall show a highly significant departure from expectation, confirming our prediction."

    In other words, they look at how human thought and emotion change machines that are supposed to generate entirely random numbers to be not so random. They have discovered that this occurs globally during news events eliciting compassion. You can also see this on a smaller scale when a group of people focused on a single goal are emotionally invested in something.

    Fascinating reading. Thank you for the post.

  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

  13. Hi Erica,
    this will be about spirit, spirits, stuff, some background first.

    I've listened to your wonderfully crafted valedictorian speech a while ago, found it as awe-inspiring as most people have, shared it with friends and relative who could understand English, left it as it was.

    Then today, while referencing your speech's transcript in a forum reply to a high school honor student, I've found your blog, then read the first two most recent posts, this one and September, and found out you were Jewish.

    * * *

    In light of the information I've let out on this particular forum/on the Internet, the fact that you seem to live among channellers, that you don't seem like to your parents, let me point out the following facts, with sources:

    (Exercise discernment and caution while analyzing what I'm about to state, as in all things in life; Don't attempt to stare under any circumstance from within into the Abyss, the Darkness, it might cripple and even kill you from fright if your Inner Self doesn't say No soon enough, trust your instincts about what you see, read and hear and is asked to do; There is spin in everything available out there, sometimes as much as 80-90% truth but spun in the direction the person/group wants: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing or Useful idiot, you decide!)

    A Journey into the Supernatural interview
    with Roger Morneau, available on the Net.

    - Spirits are all liars and evil. People die for real, spirits are impersonators, at the first level for sure, they do this and hand over information and power to sap/deal? energy off living creature, there's much more to this,
    Have a look at the interview or the transcript of a fellow countryman. He's biased though, he became an Adventist priest: the leadership is into spirit Worship as any other big enough religion on this planet (just think Mormons, look into their ridicule founding history, etc; they too are spirit worshippers&drug users), statements about evolution and stuff as opposed to biblical doctrine is dubious, etc, but may still ring true.

    Take the case of Jeanne Laval, a full-fledged channel, mostly written, for Symbole and other spirits that inspired Victor Hugo: they all tell they're there for the best of mankind, yet they fudge and smudge most of their message, leading one to believe in dead people's passing away into a living state, a deception. Perhaps some internal practices can enable one to not dissolve into nothingness, who knows. They talk about fluid, and that spirits need to amass a certain amount before doing tricks, such as to manifest/teleport/move objects. This ought to be Chi energy.. that can only be know through inner work, your current exploration is on target.

    Master Greg Park's three latest videos on his take on the occult through the eyes of a Ninjutsu practitioner are worthy of mention: , v=J8_fq46YN7c, v=lHYtqwRxMuw
    Basically spirits and their first-level puppets are liars, spirits can possess humans and grant them powers (he states they can even morph people) always at a price. Great Material.

    As to your year 2012...

    Defamation (2009), you have to see this documentary if you go in Israël. A soft and humour-toned narrative serving as a soft introduction for what you really OUGHT to have seen beforehand, a work by a guy about my age, Eric Hunt @ http://holoc*AnA* His The Last Days of the Big Lie is a master piece, great research. That may help get you out of your actual mindset. Not that it's your fault, can't blame one if he's or she's ignorant but one becomes imputable when he or she get to know about the facts! :O)

    When it comes to spirits, their induced lies permeade much: see more below, as a striking example: will shock your mind, straight from the 11k pages of police report.

    Can you see behind the Music Industry's doings? has a great series about it. Far and wide ranging.
    *Continued next*

  14. If education and science touches you enough to co-develop software for it, here's some more tidbits, as to steer your effort toward more truth:

    We never went on the Moon with Apollo, China faked their first space walk, and much other facts, very solid research by documentarist Jarrah White @, check his MoonFaker prefixed playlists, The Radioactive Anomaly sets the tone, as his most recent video MoonFaker: Where's my plume?.

    Secret of Oz by Bill Still of The Money Masters fame as to what money actually is, along with Money As Debt I and II, plenty of material in those. Great interview on Cryptome:
    Who invented Bitcoin?

    There's a better elementary electromagnetism than what's thought, it's the one from Robert J. Distnti @

    There's no photon!

    There's a better numerical geometry out there, the one from Norman J. Wildberger @, have a look at his MathFoundation40 video, the one with the most viral potential:
    and his WildTrig67 - Trisection of a Right Triangle solution:
    His current state of research, great expose of the barrier he's currently crossing publicly in video:

    Anyway, enough already I hear you scream at me, and your many readers too.

    the Real Big Lie is the Illusion of Lack, lack of resources for what we really need to live, lack of information; Since reality is wave-based, there's nothing really solid, energy can be harnessed through many means e.g. through decoupling by delay or by parallel decoupled circuits, see the actual work on
    Regenerative Acceleration and on the BiTT by Thane C Heins, most recent videos @,

    and also alchemy can even by achieved by the simplest of means: by heating metals to the precise correct temperature for long enough in a correctly oriented magnetic field (one way or the other, maybe a spinning one can help?!) so that they can endothermically grow or exothermically shrink into their counterparts, LENR reactions at its best, see the documented research of who achieved it, see /phonon.htm for details. From copper and even aluminium to gold in matter of days!

    Frank Znidarsic's theoretical reserach is worth mentionning, AlienScientist's is the best intro to it.

    I have a high faith in the justness of your life journey, I had to push a little farther, may you be a soldier for truth :O)

    All the best, thanks for striving for good,

  15. Thank you for giving me such a good chance, let me be able to read this essay so good of a son, thank you very much.

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  16. Hi Erica,

    I wonder if you could perhaps tell me where I too can get such beautiful wings.

    The only wings we got here in town are angel feathers, here see my google store:
    Not exactly special anymore, because everyone has these already, and I'm looking for something a bit less traditional.

    Jenny Wynter, big fan.

  17. Very nice article Erica. You mentioned that you like to do yoga. Well, I'll be happy to inform that all of the topics you discussed are very nicely described in the original book on yoga, known as the Bhagavad-Gita, which is said to be over 5,000 years old. In the Bhagavad-Gita, it is made known that every single one of us objectively has a body, a mind, intelligence, and ultimately consciousness. Among these four items, only the body can be seen. Indeed, neither the mind or thoughts, nor the intelligence and consciousness be seen. Just by looking at someone, can you see if they're feeling happy or sad. Sometimes people who look externally happy are really internally sad inside. This is because consciousness or the soul cannot be seen. All of these subject matters are explained in detail on my youtube channel, specifically in the videos known as "Doomsday Consciousness" and "DC2."
    I pray that this blog somehow or other reaches such a great and inquisitive soul such as yourself.
    Have a very nice day Erica.

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