Palisades Park, NJ

        I moved. I was informed that I couldn't be around while El's dad goes through treatment. I took the news lightly at first since I know have many living options at my disposal, but slowly I realized how much I loved the situation I was in and how much it would suck to be away from El and the comfort of Leonia. Fortunately, although in mid-freak-out, I found out that Bobby's mom was renting out a room. Now, I have my own space, a lot of light from a few big windows, and three cats to get to know. El fell in love with Mambo, so he decided he'd take care of her. Lucky for me. Now I won't have to deal with any chaos from the felines. I stop by to visit and I'll take her back when I leave the area, but for now I'm living only a town away. "Pal Park," I like to call it.
        About three blocks down is Broad Avenue. The Koreans own that strip. Hair salons, restaurants, ooh, and karaoke bars. A little nightlife in my backyard. It's bigger than Leonia, so I'll have more opportunity to converse in Korean. I've been taking lessons online, and now I have a textbook in the mail. Autodidactic learning rocks.

        I got my hair cut. Bobby told me that I should get a white girl fro. I loved the idea, but realized I'd need to get rid of the dreads and grow my hair out a bit for a perm. So, I made sure to enjoy and appreciate my hair until 4/20. Then, I had Bobby hack it all off. Of course, now my hair was all different lengths, so I went down to Broad Ave and stopped into the first salon I saw (there are many to choose from). They wanted forty bucks to even out my hair. I said I'd go to the ATM, but really I meant I'd go check out the deal down the street. The next salon I walked into was empty, but a middle-aged Korean woman who spoke little English assured me they were

open. She said she'd do my hair for twenty-five. She thought she finished, but there was a section of my hair that was shorter than the rest. I tried to tell her I needed it all the same length She then made me question myself. "Very, very short," she said with a concerned look on her face. I told her to go for it. At the end of the whole ordeal, I was pleased. It felt good to start fresh. I haven't had short hair since I was a baby, so I'm happy these dread gave me a reason to try it out. I handed the woman forty bucks since I was so satisfied. She was very grateful, and I left with an "Annyeonghi gyeseo!" This literally translated to "stay in peace" and is the common goodbye when one is leaving somewhere.

        I got a job. All I have to do is walk up the hill to the Italian neighborhood to start my shift at Hanky's Pizzeria and Deli as the counter gal/waitress. Charlie's the boss. His son, Charlie, is boss too. Lou has been there since they renovated the place three years ago, when Charlie took over the business. Hanky was Charlie's grandfather. He started Hanky's circa 1900. It was like a 7/11 for those days. The family is huge. I'm always meeting new cousins or brothers/sisters-in-law. Aunt Loretta lives upstairs and comes down to help every now and then. She's such a sweetheart and tells me fun stories from the past. There are some old fellas that live and have lived in the neighborhood all their lives who come in and talk about how things used to be. Old photos of the family decorate the walls. One depicts a wedding at the Catholic church across the street. I think about how perfect this job is. I don't have to work for a huge corporation. I get to work at a small place with great people. Even before coming down here, I had imagined that I'd work at a pizzeria. Serving is my thing. I like tip jobs and I like people. I learn tips along the way about making great food and, as a plus, I get to take some of that great food home at the end of the night. I was talking to Ollie the other day about this job. He told me about his friends coming out of college now that are like, "What, I can't make 60 tho with my college degree, and, instead, I'm getting a job that I could've gotten out of high school?! Shit." According to this article, "[i]n the United States today, 317,000 waiters and waitresses have college degrees." It looks like I can be just like them except without the average of $25,000 in student loan debt. Among the statistics was also "[a]ccording to very extensive research detailed in a new book entitled Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses, 45 percent of U.S. college students exhibit 'no significant gains in learning after two years in college." Of course we all learn everyday, but it looks like any type of measurable academic progress was absent. Even at this new job, I try to learn as much as possible about being the best server I can. I suppose some might find it bizarre, but traveling waitress might just become my career path. It's flexible, lucrative (enough for me), and work that I can be proud of. I basically get paid to make people smile. What could be better? I envisioned finding a passion that I can make money off of, but I think the simplicity and cheer found in this line of work is good enough for me.

        So, here I am, going day in and day out with a "normal" American life. I'm not doing anything extraordinary. I'm existing like an average nineteen-year-old, but with a twist. I move around a lot. If I don't save up enough money before winter, I think I'll head down to Boca Raton to stay with my aunt. I'll find a new server position during Florida's busy season and get to know a new place. Yeah, sure, it's the land of the retired, but if I'm aiming for wisdom, I guess the elderly are the people to talk to. I don't know much about the ethnic diversity of the area, but perhaps I can practice my Spanish at the good ol' Rat's Mouth.

        My mind likes to daydream about all of the other places I could be right now. I could stick my thumb out on the side of the road and head west...or south...or northeast. Anywhere. I could be impulsive with my savings and head overseas. But, no. Here is good. Summertime in the city is something I've dreamed of since I was little. I'll experience what the big apple has to offer and then be on my way. I remember looking at colleges and becoming frustrated that they all seemed the same. The only difference that I cared about was location. I wanted to be in the big city, but I'm realizing that college wasn't my only shot at living there, and certainly four years time was more than wanted.

        I go upstate every now and then. I visited my dad to grab some things, including my bicycle. It makes not having a car so much more enjoyable. Walking is nice. One can smell the roses during a walk, but if I need a quick commute, my bike does the job. I also picked up some more clothes. I decided a new look was in order for this new hairstyle. It's always fun to change personas. "Erica Goldson" is a blank slate. My dorm hall may know me as a hippie, but Pal Park will see something new.

Leonia, NJ

        I like it here. I'm not used to suburbs for miles, but this is a unique place. 52% of Leonia and the neighboring town, Palisades Park, is Korean. I'm right next to a cemetery and just down the road is a strip of restaurants and shops. I can walk to Hannam, the Korean grocery store chain, yet they don't carry all of those silly American basics like peanut butter. I'm also only a walk away from a park on the Hudson and the George Washington Bridge to get into NYC.
        The house is really comfortable. I get to stay upstairs in the man cave with Eliott and Maxwell where writing finds itself all over the walls, and the downstairs is mostly for the folks, Miles and Marisa, so it has that family feel along with a clean kitchen. The upstairs living room is a dark royal blue and houses a magenta couch. Mambo runs around on the carpet, nibbling at areas where something may have spilled in the past.
        Max has been looking for a job too. He picked up a gig flyering houses for a couple weeks, so I go along some days (17 cents a flyer!). It's quite relaxing going for daily strolls in new towns around Jersey. I get to see everything from the Mont Clair mansions to the sketchy areas of Bloomfield. Sure, I may be pestering people with nonsense advertisements and wasting resources since they will only throw them away, but it's been sunny lately, so I just try to look on the bright side.
        I met Kenneth through Facebook, and he lives in Morris County. Over the weekend he brought me on a couple hikes. Silly me was unaware that parts of New Jersey have mountains and resemble upstate New York. That's what happens when the television shows Jersey Shore, Real Housewives of New Jersey, and Jerseylicious inform viewers about a state. Incidentally, Kenneth does pools and fireplaces and lives near the town of the housewives. He took me on a tour to see mansions much bigger than those of Mont Claire. I was aghast.
        I've decided to bake. I picked up some supplies at Hannam and learned about the oven the hard way. I burnt the bottoms of my first batch of cookies. Live and learn. I made my favorite blueberry muffins from my mom's recipe. Not the same. I'll have to add something extra.
        I like that I will be here for a while. I get to learn new social dynamics that mirror other situations, but now I have lots of time to navigate them. I like that I can start anew - a new town and new people that judge me mostly on who I am at the present, rather than any stories or experiences from the past.
        I'm looking for a server position, or perhaps I'll go out on a limb and get a job in the education industry. There are some jobs on craigslist for assistants at nursery schools. I do get a kick out of being around toddlers. Maybe the senior center down the road needs extra help. The elderly are always fun too. Whatever it is, I've realized waking up to an alarm is detrimental to my dreaming. No 9-5 for me.
        While I was staying at Acorn Community last summer, I was exposed to people who practice polyamory and a workshop discussing the whole situation. It seems so formal when I say that, but it is actually a very informal notion - the basic idea of having multiple romantic relationships, either juxtaposed or mixed. It's as simple as enjoying the company around you rather than focusing one's mind on only one person, even when he or she is not around. I thought, well, it sounds great, but not for me. I'm a one man kind of gal. Good thing things change. Now I'm basically in an open relationship - that's if I want to put a label on it. All that nasty jealousy stuff that normally happens in relationships is *poof* gone. I can be my fun, flirty self, without worry, and still come home to a bed and person to snuggle with. Or maybe I'll snuggle with someone else. Or maybe all together. Or maybe I'll sleep on the couch with only Mambo to keep me company because someone I'm not attracted to is taking my place in bed. That does sound a little dreary, but it's not like I wouldn't normally sleep alone. I've done it plenty of times, so what makes a few nights any different? Or maybe if I get lonely, I can see if Max wants to have a slumber party. It's all about enjoying people in the best way, with love.
        Ollie is a character. He does guitar and drums. He said he can teach me. He also has an adorable daughter named Chloe. He's got that loud, in-charge thing going on. He smiles a lot, which makes me smile. He can sing. I can sing. It's a fun situation. Miles and him have some bad blood, so he can't hang here, but he's a walk away, through the graveyard.
        Bobby's cool. He talks to Mambo like she's a baby. I'm glad most people enjoy Mambo's company. He also plays guitar. He comes over every once in a while for some good philosophical conversations. I get to listen and maybe chime in every once in a while with my usual, "Wait, this doesn't matter and is all metaphor anyways." Then El reassures me that it's all just for fun.
        Alex is lovely. She's originally from California and studying at culinary school over here. She works with El at the book store, and we get together every now and then. I like being surrounded by all these kind people.
        El held his first philosterbation last week. Massaging the mind with language. We went to a small venue, and with about ten other people, flirted with culture, beliefs, identity, etc. Finally we got tired of talking and tried some remote viewing. I still have to practice.
        Pig roast this weekend. El's gonna DJ with some j-pop. Dance for Japan. Surf the tsunami. Get nuclear wasted.
        I'm 18. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts. Sometimes, that little voice inside my head talks about productivity and asks if I'm reflecting that. But who says I have to? I am surviving. I have great people around me. I'm discovering new things everyday. El says my presence is calming. For now, that will be my contribution to society. Lazy for not going to college? Whatever you want to call it, it feels good.