Texas to Tennessee

        I headed back to Austin after the conference. Jeff is working on a house in a wealthy suburb, so the scenery gets bland.

        We took a trip to Fiesta, a Hispanic grocery chain with American foodstuffs as well. I was practicing my Spanish again by trying to name things and defining the lyrics in the songs I was hearing. It makes me want to visit Latin America all the more.

        The next day, staring at the clear, blue sky, I noticed bright dots of light bouncing back and forth and bursting from one another. It made me think, am I seeing the very essence of this space, possibly elementary particles? Luckily, after contacting a friend about it, I was directed to a link which explained that it is actually a phenomenon in the eye. Click here to check it out. It also allowed me to understand the “floaters” that I notice every now and then. Perhaps you have to. They sometimes appear as transparent bubbles or strings that move along with the movement of your eye.

        I decided to take a walk with Mambo. What a lovely day that would be wasted staying stagnant. I used the GPS to locate a body of water nearby. I saw that there were two ponds a half hour away, so I walked through suburbia to the end where a country road appeared, where I could picture a traveler sticking his thumb out. I walked through the tall grass toward one pond, and it turned out there was a dirt path that went along the water. It had been created by tire tracks. Once I got on the path, I saw an orange cat walking along it in front of me. I gave my best meow to have it notice me with the intention that I could befriend it, but it became scared and ran away. There were plenty of ducks in the ponds, as well as turtles, lots of turtles, hanging out on the shore. When the heard me, they all headed into the water, so all I would only see their heads above the water.

        Further along the path, I was eventually brought to the paved path of the golf course that entangled the gated community. I'm not a golfer, but it's nice to see the culture with the colored polos and all. At one point, I saw a man, in his early 20s, that was playing catch with his pup. It then ran up to me with its tennis ball. It pleased my ego to think that perhaps the guy had a trick up his sleeve to send his dog over to ladies, but of course only an idea. I gave it a pet and threw the ball for it, then asked the man in which direction I could find the creek. I headed down that way and saw a shallow end of it. I looked in a different direction and saw some vehicle tracks into a grassy area with piles of sticks and logs. I figured that was where the workers would bring all the “rubbish” from the golf course. The grass was tall and fluffy, so I

looked for a nice place to rest. Finally, there was a spot that called my name. I laid down and allowed Mambo to move freely. I figured she'd like the natural habitat where she might've been without Petco. Or perhaps she wouldn't have even existed without Petco. Regardless, she enjoyed the exploration. I wasn't afraid of her running away because I knew that if she did, it was her choice to freedom. But I learned that she liked me because she stuck around. Maybe she only likes me because I feed her, but I don't mind whatever reason it is. I started hearing birds and the wind was picking up, so I assumed that signaled movement. I climbed up the hill into a more forest-like area and then ended up on the paved path once again. I passed over the creek again and sat down to stick my feet in. Mambo climbed down my shirt and became comfy in my bosom as she kept her face sticking out of my cleavage. It was a cute sight.

        I walked more and knew I no longer had my sense of direction since the path winded. I knew I eventually had to get back to the big bridge/road that passes over the creek at some point, but I no longer knew which way that was. Oh well. Luckily, I knew Kelly was a phone call away with the GPS no more than twenty feet away.

        One foot in front of the other, I had a feeling I was going in the wrong direction, but there were cliffs on my left with cacti growing right out of the rock, so I didn't mind walking more for the scenic views. Eventually, I needed to stop because I smelled dog poo. Had I stepped in something? I walked to the side of the golf course next to the creek to make it seem like I was just taking a break to ponder the poetry of life, but really I was trying to figure out where this smell was coming from. Not the shoes. Not the shirt. Mambo? Nope, she just smelled like rat. But the smell was so potent. I felt around my neck. Yuck! How the heck did poo get on my necklace and chin? Mambo! I tried wiping it off discretely and then along came an old man on his golf cart.

        “Are you enjoying the beauty of nature?” he said.

        “Oh yeah...this creek is beautiful...hey, do you know where I can find River Plantation Rd?”

        He told me it was a ways, about a mile, and like I thought, in the other direction. He offered me a ride, but I didn't feel like making the stops at the holes, so I thanked him and headed backwards. There was drinking water along the way to wash my necklace, neck, and hands off with, and by the time I was done, the man was back. He must've finished up the last hole. We talked again, and this time I took the ride. I thought it can't be so bad to watch some golf, and it'd be nice to give and have some company. So, I properly introduced myself, and as a Southern gentleman, he took off his hat as he introduced himself also.

        “Phil Shaw. Nice to meet you.”

        I watched him play, but he was embarrassed that he wasn't doing well.

        “I'm much better than this, but I'm not used to having pretty, young ladies watch me.”

        How sweet. It's nice to be charmed, knowing that there weren't any ulterior motives.

Phil told me about his granddaughters and even great granddaughters, the old dam that used to exist on the creek, and the Boy Scouts that built a dock for swimming around it. We also talked about the flora around the course and how beautiful it is when it's in bloom. I love the warmth down here, but without leaves on a lot of the trees, it leaves an empty spot in my heart.

        Phil drove me to the road and walked me on a shortcut through the lawn of his famous magician friend. It seemed Phil knew everyone. He had been living there for 33 years. We said goodbye, his hat off again. We shook hands, but it turned into a firm, caring grasp and him commenting that I was a lovely young woman. I thanked him for his kindness and we parted.

        Back at the bus, guacamole and chips were served. We've been having a lot of that lately, and I love it. Kelly's a good cook.

        I've become very interested in the link between shamanism and autism. In certain cultures, a shaman is one who has gone through some sort of neuropsychological “disorder,” like schizophrenia or autism. It makes sense because the social aspect of life distracts from the other potentials of the mind. I was introduced to WrongPlanet.net, where I began to read forums about shamanism and the other worlds created in the minds of autistics. That, then, introduced me to The Horse Boy, a beautiful documentary about the journey a western couple takes to Mongolia with their autistic son in order to meet shamans for a healing process. Since Kelly noticed I was interested in this, she rented Temple Grandin, a film depicting Temple Grandin's life. Temple is currently a spokesperson for the autistic community and has also developed humane systems of animal slaughter. (However, Kelly disagrees that it is humane to slaughter in the first place.) I highly recommend both movies. I am always intrigued to see different perspectives, and it excites me to see others doing the same.

        Xoey often uses the word “crazy.” At first, she would use it in an insulting fashion when I did something she didn't like. This really disturbed me, but I learned to ignore it, and then to take pride in the term. When she walked into the bus toward the end of Temple Grandin and saw Temple acting in a strange fashion, she asked, “Is she crazy?” (It seemed to me that she was using this term in a derogatory manner again.) I replied, “She's autistic.” At the end of the movie, Xoey was able to see the interesting features of high-functioning autism, so I asked her, “Do you still think she's crazy?” She said, “Well, yeah, she is crazy, but it doesn't have to be a bad thing.” I was silent, but satisfied. I'm glad to hear that she recognizes that.

        I find a comforting beauty in “weirdness.” I'm glad that it seems I'm getting weirder everyday. Who wants to be normal when there's so much more to explore than these socially-shared hallucinations? I'm not one for comfort, safety, and the mundane. I like newness and things that rustle up my feathers. Thanks world for becoming more and more tolerant of diversity! I hope it continues because I'm not just tolerant; I'm in love.

        We went to the LBJ Museum today. I never knew much about him or his presidency. I was surprised to find out that he seemed a bit dopey. There were exhibits specifically about his sense of humor, but I didn't get it, probably because I couldn't stick around long enough to hear the punchline. He just talked too slow for me.

        I learned plenty about Lady Bird and how much she liked wildflowers, so much so that she wanted to beautify our highways with taxpayer dollars. What a cause.

        My favorite floor was the one devoted to the time period – the 60s. My dad grew up in that era. He was 13 when Kennedy was shot. The only time I almost saw him cry was when he talked about that event. Along this floor were also the pictures and video exhibits devoted to the civil rights movement. I don't know about you, but when I see Martin Luther King Jr., I get inspired. I watched a video about the missile crisis in Cuba on a television from the 60s, so it was fun to feel like I traveled back in time.

        That reminds me. I've been doing a lot of reading about time. I want to understand it for what it really is. It's just another perception, another illusion in this game, but is there a way we can understand it through physics, or will I only truly understand it once I experience the absence of it, or perhaps and altered state of it? Allegedly, there is technology exists that can slow time down or speed it up for an observer, other than the technology of the mind.

        After two weeks of work, the unschool bus has finally left Onion Creek. I had some good times exploring the few wooded areas around the creek, laying my head in the grass, staring at the birds flying and playing in the sky, but I'm surely ready to head out.

        I saw a jackrabbit for the first time. It hopped along a lawn, and although I had never seen such an animal before, the word “jackrabbit” popped in my head. Then, I whipped out my computer to check on Google images if I was right, and what do yah know, I aced that test.

We stopped at a truck stop for bed. I had a phone call to make, so I headed over to the pond and trees that was outside of the lot. I become so giddy talking to Eliott. I told him how it's not even fair how awesome my life is right now. All I had to do was say how I really felt, and the world's arms wrapped around me.

        Eliott doesn't know this, but I should be arriving at his house in a few days. He knows I'm going to surprise him, but just not when, and it's very, very hard for me not to just yell out on the phone, “I'm going to see you at the end of the week!” when we're all gushy, regurgitating puppy dog loveliness.

See, this leg of the trip for the unschool bus is almost over. The Halldorsons are heading back to New Hampshire for a couple of months to do some work and see friends, and I'm getting dropped off in Jersey. I've decided that I'm not going to come back on the bus. I want to get a job, save up, and buy my own van for travel. I'm not sure where I'll do that yet, but I do imagine having a wonderful time at Eliott's and asking him to come see the world with me (I hope he's not reading this!). Of course, nothing is set in stone, but this is what my mind tends to fantasize about.

        In the morning, we headed to Dallas. I've had my headphones plugged into my ears listening to Pretty Lights albums, while staring out at the road. I had a lot of sightseeing as Jeff was trying to find a toy store. It looks like Dallas means business, literally. All the buildings seem to be devoted to the lifestyle that comes along with a suit. We only stuck around for about an hour and got back on the road.

I fell asleep before we even stopped. When I woke up in the morning, it turned out that we were at a welcome center in Oklahoma. That morning would be the famous Rhett + Link's arrival. They are YouTube stars that are going around the country with the “Box of America,” asking for gifts from everyone who wants to meet them, then sticking them in the box in order to have a drawing for a winner at the end of the trip. They are filming the whole adventure and heading to LA to possibly start a TV show. Wolfgang is a big fan of theirs, so we figured we'd take a slight detour to see them. We got them a small replica of our bus, and Kelly painted it to look almost exactly the same. When they saw our bus, they were excited to come in for a tour.

        After they left, we had cake for breakfast. It had been Jeff and Kelly's anniversary only days ago, and luckily they found a vegan carrot cake in Whole Foods. Yummy!

        Later on, we stopped at an Antique Center/Native American Museum. So much stuff! There were a sick pair of old roller skates, but unfortunately just a wee bit too small for me. I also checked out the jewelry and knives. I happened to leave my knife at the tree I was sitting under at the Dallas truck stop; it must've fell out of my pocket when I had been laying down on my side. I'll have to find a good replacement.

        Afternoon into night, there was a huge rainstorm, with lightning too! Nothing could make a long drive more exciting. I haven't experienced such a storm in a while. Coming from Buffalo down to Louisiana, I went directly from snow to shine, so I'm glad it can be mixed up a bit on my travels back northeast. Of course, I have more rain come Spring.

        What's the best way to wake up in the morning? Going to the bathroom in a truck stop in the middle-of-nowhere Missouri. Why? Because it has songs from the 50s blasting on the speakers in the ladies room! When I heard, “Let the Little Girl Dance,” I just couldn't refuse. That's definitely going on my iTunes. During this restroom excursion I also thought to myself, “No matter how dirty the toilets are, there always seems to be at least one (usually the last one you find) that's completely acceptable for use.”

        However, later that morning, driving through Kentucky, we got a bit unlucky. I happened to be on the phone with my dad talking about when I'd be back in the northeast when the bus blew up! Okay, it didn't blow up. I probably wouldn't be writing this if it had, but underneath the hood started smoking. I chuckled a bit because, although I had been so excited, my estimated time of arrival had been changed. We pulled over and Jeff ran outside to lift the hood. He called Good Sam's to rectify the problem. He had been told, when he originally purchased the policy, that Good Sam's would not only take care of the tow but also the transportation of the family and pets to the shop where the bus would be brought as well as any hotel fee incurred during the mechanical work. However, it seemed like he had been duped. They would take care of the tow, but that's it. We all spent some time brainstorming ideas so we wouldn't have to pay an insanely expensive cab fare or hitchhike. We didn't have an official solution and the tow man arrived. Lucky for us, he had room in his truck that fit us all perfectly! Good leads to bad, but bad leads to good. Kelly and I were excited for the ride since we had never been in a tow before. Our unfortunate event led to fortune, plus, if I calculated correctly, the bus saved twenty bucks in gas. I really enjoy looking on the bright side of things.

        Since then, I've been having a lot of access to the internet. Both in the shop and at the hotel, I've had free wifi, plus the hotel provides a complementary breakfast. With my connection to the web, I've been answering Facebook and email messages and also doing a lot of research into law. I just watched a video called, Theft By Deception, which is on Google video for free, so I do recommend it if you are concerned about tax law. Through understanding the law and all of the definitions provided in it, it turns out it is not lawful to tax most domestic income. I also have been interested in operating a vehicle without a license. I had it suspended less than a year ago (by choice) and once I get my van, I don't think I will register my vehicle or try to get back my license. It's all a contract that I don't want to sign, and as long as I don't hurt anyone, it is lawful to drive without signing that contract. And even if I did present my case to a judge who didn't understand common law vs. commerce law and then I ended up in jail, I wouldn't mind. I think it would be beneficial for me to be in an environment where most stimulation is deprived so that I can start having wake-induced lucid dreams and/or out of body experiences.

        So...much...driving. I listened to some podcasts along the way until my computer died (Gnostic Media and Peace Revolution). I have some books, but I really didn't feel like whipping them out. Finally the sun came out, so the drive to and from Knoxville was extraordinarily beautiful. There's just been so much rain in this week that fields were flooded all over, the sky consisted only of gray clouds, and the cold only became colder. Now, the terrain is shining gold and the sky is blue with just a few puffs of white cloud every now and then. The Great Smoky Mountains are shaped much differently than other mountains I have seen. Now, I'll be in Jersey soon, and my mind keeps thinking too much about the new chapter that is about to unfold.

        Surprise again! It turns out Eliott's is out of the way of the Halldorson's way up to New Hampshire. They want to avoid expensive tolls and Connecticut altogether. It looks like I'll actually be going to my dad's instead, and after the weekend, perhaps, finally, I'll be getting down to Jersey. It's a good thing I have this time, though, so I can unload some stuff to lighten my pack, get Mambo a carrying case instead of using her cage, and see old friends and family again.

Austin, TX

        I'm sitting here in a mansion-like home in a gated community in a suburb of Austin, TX. That's my physical setting, at least. Yet, I'm also sitting here contemplating what else I'm sitting in, non-physically. I'm a miniscule part of an immense digital consciousness that I have very little understanding of. I'm sitting in an ego. To borrow words from another sentient being, Erica Goldson 'is like the coat an invisible person wears so that s/he can interact with other people without freaking them out.' Although I haven't directly experienced the no-self, I understand that it's there. Have I deduced myself down to it logically? I guess. Honestly, I don't know how it all makes sense to me, but it does. Usually it has to come from experience, the swimming into the depths, the stepping out of one's costume, but I'm just going to accept that I'm lucky to have been able to understand it all without getting burned. And eventually, I might have that flash of consciousness some people talk about, but I'm really not worried about it.

        Again, I must suggest reading Thomas Campbell's My Big TOE. I'm pretty excited to start experiencing paranormal phenomena via meditation. It might not come quickly, heck, it might not come at all, but if I survive the length of time the average human lives, then I've got plenty of time to practice.

        Referring back to my physical setting, I am here with a very nice family. I made a bracelet with Kandy's beads and jewelry supplies. She sells her creations, so I had access to a lot of professional pieces rather than my usual hemp twine and random beads. I also went swimming in a pool and basked in a hot tub that have lights that change colors at night. Groovy. The first two days here were beautiful, in the 70s and sunny, but overnight, it changed drastically, in a way I didn't think possible. I woke up to hail in the early morning, went back to sleep, and then stepped outside the bus into 17 degree weather and then into the heated house as quickly as possible. So, for the last two days I've been sitting inside with ears and eyes connected to my laptop. I've noticed how loud it can get with so many children around, and therefore I'm also practicing tuning noises out. The kids have all been having fun playing with Mambo, hopefully keeping her entertained.

        We've been kicked out, though – not by the family we're staying with, but by the neighbors. Apparently, Lakeway has rules against mobile homes being parked anywhere but the police station. So, we will be finding a new place to sleep. No more easy access to Wifi, but I'm fine to move on. I'll get to see more than just the little boxes on the hillside. When I took a walk the other day, I did manage to find a serene spot of zen trees but the rest of the view consisted of suburbia.

        I don't know why toddler boys tend to have crushes on me. Jeremiah is the youngest of the Wright family (the ones we're staying with in Lakeway), and every time I look at him, he gives me the cutest flirty smile I've seen. Nana K asked him if he thinks I'm pretty, and he smiled with a nod. Maybe it's my dreads in pigtails or my smile that I throw back at him. I try my best to interact with little kids telepathically. I like that they are still developing their mindset about the world and don't have a strong hold on language yet.

        Jackie doesn't have a complete hold on language either. I was looking forward to meeting her when I heard that she's autistic. She's 14 and is the only one of the family that goes to school. She likes to listen to music and ask a lot of questions. She really enjoys my web cam because of all the special effects that distort image. However, it seems like her autism also leads her to have temper-tantrums and frustration. Sometimes, she has difficulty understanding sarcasm and humor. I was hoping to understand a different view of reality through her, but I think that she has been trained to interact in our socially-constructed reality quite well.

        Hey, so guess what? I just found out that I'm enlightened. I just finished reading Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing, so I'd recommend it, except I realize it came to me quite randomly, and I think that anyone who is ready to/needs to read it will end up reading it. And it's not even the book that enlightened me. No book can do that. It's just that it let me know that I can now define myself in this way. It's basically a book that sums up enlightenment for what it really is. There's so many people that seek it, yet it's right there. The New-Age industry tries to dress it up like something it's not, which ultimately fools everyone and just causes more disappointment. So, it's just really cool that I've been seeking the wisdom I wanted and got it. Thanks universe, awesome present. Next stop: Love.

        So, back to the unschooled life of Erica Goldson. That's what you're all here for, right? A little entertainment? A way to live vicariously through me (my ego's experience)? Well, you got it!

        We are now back in the gated community that we were kicked out of. It's Super Bowl Sunday, so maybe the Mormon neighbors will be using this day of rest to not complain about us.

        We stayed in an RV Park last night, pulled down the awesome TV that Keith gave us from the straps holding it up on the ceiling of the bus and threw Despicable Me in the DVD player. Great movie. Hilarious and heart-warming. Yeah, I wanted to cry a little. I think children's movies are just getting better and better the older I get. My favorite, though, is Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

        In other news, I've been an innocent bystander to the family feuding of the Halldorsons. By no means should this discredit them because coming from a family, I understand that families fight, but this seat is so much better. Other than the few times that I'm asked to take sides, I enjoy watching all that goes down. It's like a TV show but better. C'est la vie!

        We ended up doing some work at a caretaker home. Sana and Will started a house where five people now live that need extra assistance. I was exciting to hear about Nathan, who had been diagnosed with Asperger's as a child and is really interested in physics, space, and aliens. So, of course I had to hear his thoughts. He read me his essay about how he theorizes spaceships works. Most of it flew over my head, but he was kind enough to take the time to explain parts of it to me.

        Sana and Will also have three kids, Elijah, 13, Elium, 11, and Ana, 3. It was actually Ana's birthday when we arrived, so as I was sitting at the table on my laptop, kids started strolling in with presents and cake. Maybe it wasn't a surprise party for her, but I certainly wasn't expecting such a happy event to appear right in front of me when I woke up that morning. Also, she had recently gotten a puppy for her birthday, so he was trailing around all excited and what not.

        There was also an extra bedroom that I ended up sleeping in that night. It was nice to have that space to myself. I appreciated it so much more after sleeping on a bench in someone else's living room for the past three weeks or so. Also, Mambo really enjoyed exploring that area and not sleeping in the cold. Poor thing had to go through 20 degree nights without a blanket.

In the morning, donuts and fruits decorated the table. Sana and Will had been feeding us well. They treated us like part of the group. Totally made the home our home too.

        Back at the Wrights', I began to eavesdrop on a conversation between Kelly and another unschooling mom, Pippa. They were talking about feminism and the flaws thereof. It reminded me of the Intro to Feminist Theory class that I audited last semester. Funny how I can learn what I learned at UB just by talking to them, or even just listening, rather than trying to memorize the classifications of what they were talking about for a midterm.

        Because of this, I decided to stop sticking my face in my laptop and have some human interaction. We then got on the subject of technology and the information system that is now becoming to have a life of its own. If you're interested, here's a great piece:

        I had a wicked cool dream last night. Lucid, too. I've been wanting to get back to lucid dreaming, but I've learned it's not really something you can “try” to do.

First let me start off by saying that yesterday (not in the dream) I was emptying my trash on my computer. I had put a binaural beat track in there that I didn't think I would use since I got the Hemi-Sync Gateway Experience. It was a half-hour piece I had downloaded a while back when I first got into lucid dreaming called "To Dreams Unsettled." But it was a little creepy sounding so I was scared to use it. So anyways, when I tried to empty my trash, a notification box appeared saying "Trash cannot empty 'To Dreams Unsettled.mp3' because it is in use." I was confused at first because my iTunes wasn't even open. I had put it in the trash a few days ago. But I didn't question it. I knew at that moment I had to use it.

        So, I went to sleep last night with my headphones on playing that track on repeat. I really wasn't tired. My mind was everywhere, thinking in so many directions, so finally after maybe an hour and a half to two hours I finally got to sleep. Oh, but before I went to sleep I created for myself a clear intent, what I wanted to achieve in my lucid dream. I finally worded it right by saying to myself, "I want to EXPERIENCE truth." I don't remember much before the lucidity of my dream, so I assume the binaural beat helped me get right into it.

        It was dark and some long piece of wood with a sharp point was poking into my hand. It was almost piercing it, but turned out to be just a dent. I realized I was dreaming and thought to myself where I should set up the scene of my dream so I could start practicing flying or what not. I thought of the beach at Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, but when I tried to swipe that scene in, I just ended up in what seemed to be a dark living room. Nothing really in it except maybe a fireplace in front of me and a carpet below me. Then, I was like, “Hmm, okay, the beach isn't working. I guess I'll think of Hippie Hill instead (another part of Golden Gate Park).” I just really wanted a positive, non-threatening scenario. So, I was sitting in this meditation-like position envisioning it, and then I moved a bit, and all of a sudden my feet were being pulled by an invisible force toward the wall in front of me. I looked to my left and my older brother was sitting there on the computer. I thought he might see me and notice my panic, but he didn't, just kept staring at the screen. Then, I was pulled again. This time I was on my stomach, kind of like a cat being pulled by her tail, clawing at the floor to try and stay where I was. Finally, by the force, my feet were pulled so now I was standing up, wall no longer there, looking over the edge of the end of the floor into what seemed like a big river. It was nighttime, and I was extremely high. There were lights around, like, maybe, it was the Hudson River near the city, and there were also some boats in the river too. I realized what I was supposed to do. I was supposed to jump, dive right into what I had been seeking - truth. So, I did. I dove and since it was so high I figured I'd do some flips for fun. That was pretty cool, and then I landed into the water. I didn't feel anything though. I just passed right through and then was in this blackness surrounding me, with black sheets on top and below me that I could stick my hands and feet through and no longer see them. An electric/digital-like blue light would appear around the parts of my limbs being stuck through the sheets. I probably could've stuck my body through but I was definitely freaked out a bit. My friend, Eliott, who has gone through all this crazy shit before told me that I can always say hi and ask questions if I want. So, I just let out a good, "Hellllooooo?!" And what I got back was one voice that said "Hi there." Another voice said, "How are you?" I replied, "I'm great." and then a whole bunch of voices laughed a cheerful laugh. I was silent. Then they laughed again, but this time, it was more of a snicker, like they were laughing AT me. I became frightened, so I just said, "Let me back to unconsciousness!" I don't know if that was the right wording. I was afraid I might've just put myself in a coma or something. But they understood, and I awoke to a computer screen with many little notification boxes open with words. Some looked like four-line stanzas. Others contained more than 20 lines. It all varied. I was trying to read it and understand it, but after the first one (which I don't remember what it said), I was awoken again, into another false awakening. However, I thought that this was reality because I was back on the bus in Texas. I had a non-lucid dream after that (which I could tell you about but really is just another banal dream) and finally woke up ("for real") to where I am now.

        I'm going to go back there again, to the blackness, and ask better questions than just "Hello?!"

        I finally got some crayons for my sketchbook. I plan on experimenting with color more than actually drawing. It's relaxing for me to just put my headphones on and move a crayon in my hand. While this was happening, there was a blow-up. Money always seems to be the factor that will inevitably create stress. The Halldorsons had to go all the way to the Bank of America downtown, which was a bit farther than they wanted to drive, but I was the lucky one that got to see all of the sites – a man in a pig costume standing on the side of the street with a sign that read, “LAWYERS ARE PIGS,” a man playing his steering wheel with drumsticks at a red light, and a road sign that read “ROAD HUMPS AHEAD.” Apparently, down here, they don't call them speed bumps. We passed all the college kids, the stores that sell their hipster clothes, and the capitol buildings. It reminded me of Albany, except bigger and browner. Hey, it's Texas.

        I met a long-distance cousin for the first time at the Highball. There was a free improv show, but since it was 18+, I had a night off from the fam. I understood the age minimum since the theme was “Best Sex Position Ever.” But as my cousin said, it certainly would've been an education.

        Pace Bend Park – what a beaut – a peninsula surrounded by a lake that slightly smelled of salt. Got pricked by a cactus, shocked by a cold cliff jump, and stung by two wasps, but it was all worth it to see the Texas flora and mountain bikers on the intriguing hiking path and feel the awesome rush of gravity acting as acceleration as I jump from the rock separating me and the waters. Didn't taste like salt, but all I remember was focusing on getting out as soon as possible. Had to do it again, though.

        Movie nights under the stars decorated our nights. The TV seemed to float in mid-air, although it was hanging by a cord Jeff had hung between two trees. I snuggled up in my sleeping bag with Mambo and some popcorn and enjoyed the magic behind kid's flicks.

        At the Wrights' again, I find myself folding clothing. Jeff reminded me of proper laundry etiquette. After removing clothes from the dryer to put yours in, fold them for the owner. My imagination was sparked by what seemed to be doll-sized jeans in my hands. How adorable. However, children are certainly not in my immediate future, except for others' kids.

        I just received an incredible massage...from a machine! How do I end up in such wondrous situations?

        Well, Sonya is an old girlfriend of Jeff that Kelly befriended, so now Xoey, Kelly, and I are spending the day at Sonya's while Jeff, Wolfgang, and Griffin work hard on someone's roof. Boy, do I love being a girl. So, walking into Sonya's, I instantly knew I would love this place. How? Spotting her bookshelves. World Poetry, anyone? So, I find myself picking off Selected Poems by E.E. Cummings. Maybe, I'll go on to Whitman next. But there's more than just poetry. Lots of spiritual mumbo jumbo about femininity, some good books about death, an Everything book of alternative careers, etc. Wish I could stay here for more than a day. Lots of periwinkle blue along with darker blues, beiges, whites, various woods, greys, and browns. Good artwork, some buddhist pieces, yummy tea for my sore throat. Yes, I'm sick. Ehk, =P but I figure I need to have a stuffy nose every now and then to keep my immune system strong. Plus, sneezing can feel really good. But then there are those sneezes that you think are going to happen, but for some reason decide to stay in your nose and annoy you, like right now. Oh well.

        So, I got a message on Facebook this morning from my friend, Lowell, from UBuffalo. He's like, "You're in Austin? You should hang out with my friend, Liz!" So, I called her up and she turned out to be pretty awesome. Short dark hair with striped feathers as decorations, thin build, bathing suit top on with jean shorts, tattoos decorating the body, and a septum piercing. Got to her place, met Abby. House decorated with color, art, music, bowls. Alex and Michael were there too. We smoked a blunt, went swimming. Trekked down to a creek that turned out to be dried up, then went to one of those chemical-filled pools. Everyone jumped in. By the time I was back from the bathroom, everyone had jumped out. I didn't care. I'm going to jump in. I slipped on my way to a cannonball. After an embarrassing move and shriek, I got out, then showed the water who's really boss. Floated on my back, staring at the clouds and birds. Did some little mermaid moves and got out to get in the minds of the girls. Abby is studying to be a social worker. She had such delight in her eyes when I would talk about children. She told me about her DMT experience; there was a baby carriage. She compared it to her friend who saw a baby carriage and had a baby, but I told her that you know your mind better than anyone else, so it could've as much been a symbol of where her path is going into social work.

        After swimming, we checked out a sub shop. It was exactly the lifestyle I left in Albany, except more hipster, more new, upward boom. These people were my friends, just in different bodies.

Went back to the house, Abby had to do homework. Liz had to clean. Dub step show tonight, but I'll just relax at Sonya's. Alex asked me to listen to some records at his place. I knew what was going to happen. He's going to smoke me up and try to get with me. I picked at his mind, but couldn't find anything special. Still, I had a good time. He was showing me pictures of fishing in Alaska as iTunes magically put on "Fish" by Mr. Scruff. It's fun to picture what a fish is thinking of us humans, or, shall I say, frogmen. Like a gentleman, he drove me back to Sonya's.

        I need to get a more portable way to carry Mambo rather than her cage. I wanted to bring her, but knew she needed a place to chill while I swam, instead of my shoulder. But, allegedly, rats can swim? Anyways, Laure, a penpal from France, told me that she was a little worried upon hearing I got a pet, saying it might tie me down. I felt that feeling today, like she's a child, and more than that, a neurotic child, so scared of new environments, and I don't have the time to show her around. I need to settle this issue.

        What a wonderful morning – off to the airport for a conference in Duluth. The bus ride was a long one, but I always like looking out the window during a drive, rather than being the one driving. At the transfer bus stop, I was sitting across from a nice hotel in downtown Austin, looking at all the people in their suits and name tags, making up stories about them in my head. I imagined myself, how three years ago I would've pictured myself as one of them. Someone feeling more important than the average individual because of nice clothes and a certain professional etiquette entangled within personality. After thinking about it for no longer than five minutes, I'm glad I've chosen not to take that path. If it gets boring to think about, I'm sure it gets boring to actually live it. Then along came a woman with an Eastern European accent. She stopped to tell me about the power women hold, how she told her son to always respect women, not get caught up in beauty, but rather intelligence, and that I can never let anyone suppress me. It was refreshing. Here, this woman doesn't know anything about me, but perhaps because of my dreads and face clean of makeup, she assumes certain things about my mind, and probably from my age, she assumes I still let people get to me. I'd say she may be right. I'm working on my sense of ego. In that dream where the voices laughed AT me, I became insecure. The children sometimes call me crazy, weird, stupid for my lifestyle choices, but I can't let it get to me. I have to embrace it. I have to love my choices, so that a wall can form absorbing all that negative energy and converting it into something useful. I'm working on it. And this bus is a good place for that. Not everyone is going to like me, but I can sure love them.

        But, as way to show you the oftentimes good side of the Unschool Bus, check out the music video we made! Since we are in the live music capital of the world, it makes a little bit of sense to virtually release the non-live music under this Austin blog post.